Theology Library Friday Night Smackdown!

Ok, so this post is way beyond the fringe even for me, but once I got the idea in my head I had to run with it:

It all started last week while I was getting my theological library in alphabetical order again.  (My dream is by dewey decimal and completely computer indexed but that ain’t happening no time soon…)

But I disgress…So I was wondering…since Pixar Studios has taught us that toys come to life when we leave the room, what if books come to life too?  So I am looking at the lines of books on my shelves (some of which I did not pay money for, BTW, and some which I have not read nor intend to read anytime soon, special disclaimer for Mr. Discernment), and I’m thinking who could take down who if they were went mano e mano like they are lying side by side in the shelf?

So, here are the completely unaltered matchups of books that are in alphabetical order beside each other in my library:

AWWWRIIIGHT!!! ARE YOU RRREADDDY TO RRRUMMMBLE?

LET’S GET IT ON!!!

Round 1:  The Swiss Mayor vs. The Socio. Major

 Who’s tougher?  Well, in spite of being Italian Tony has never had anyone executed, so I say John could take him down, especially if correct theology gives you extra testosterone (which the boys at FIDE-O insist it does!)

Round 2: The B.J. Fundamentalist Baptist vs. The Oxford Charismatic Episcopalian

Well, I think they’re both great guys who are devoted to Christ, even though their books on spiritual formation are about as different as red-eye gravy is from a Starbucks latte. Too close to call a winner here.

Round 3: The Cheerful Texan vs. The Mad German

Well, it sounds like they both know a thing or two about pro wrestling from their book titles, but anyone who’s had a major motion picture made about him has got to have a leg up.  Sorry, Max.

Round 4: The Chinese Martyr vs. The Chicago Minister

Well, spending all those formative years at Willow Creek must have been rough (no wonder John escaped to California), but not as rough as decades in a communist prison.  Mr. Nee wins this one.

Round 5: The Love Doctor vs. the Ligonier Dominator

Well, considering both are talking girly-man talk with love in their book titles, this is a tough pick, but R.C. just looks meaner, so he’s my choice.

Whew! What a Friday night!  I wonder what my CD collection is doing tomorrow?

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