Love Is A Choice

This story was lighting up some newswires and blogs this week:

A Bosnian couple are getting divorced after finding out they had been secretly chatting each other up online under fake names.
Sana Klaric, 27, and husband Adnan, 32, from Zenica, poured out their hearts to each other over their marriage troubles, and both felt they had found their real soul mate.
The couple met on an online chat forum while he was at work and she in an internet cafe, and started chatting under the names Sweetie and Prince of Joy.
They eventually decided to meet up – but there was no happy ending when they realised what had happened.
Now they are both filing for divorce – with each accusing the other of being unfaithful.
Sana said: “I thought I had found the love of my life. The way this Prince of Joy spoke to me, the things he wrote, the tenderness in every expression was something I had never had in my marriage.
“It was amazing, we seemed to be stuck in the same kind of miserable marriages – and how right that turned out to be.
“We arranged to meet outside a shop and both of us would be carrying a single rose so we would know the other.
“When I saw my husband there with the rose and it dawned on me what had happened I was shattered. I felt so betrayed. I was so angry.”
Adnan said: “I was so happy to have found a woman who finally understood me. Then it turned out that I hadn’t found anyone new at all.
“To be honest I still find it hard to believe that the person, Sweetie, who wrote such wonderful things to me on the internet, is actually the same woman I married and who has not said a nice word to me for years.”

 Ok— here’s what I thought: this man and woman proved that they were capable of loving another person:  of listening, of being tender, understanding, giving.  They made a choice of acting that way to someone they met on the internet.

They made another choice: of NOT acting that way to their “real” spouse.  The man said that his wife “has not said a nice word to me for years.”  Now both probably had “reasons”— he’s this way, she hurt me that way, I just don’t feel anything for him, he never treats me the way I want to be treated.  But regardless of what their spouse did or didn’t do, regardless of how they did or did not feel, there’s still a choice— a choice that was theirs to make.

We have a choice too, in our marriages and in our relationships.  Every day.  Sometimes the choice is easy, when our feelings and their actions make loving them easy.  Sometimes the choice is hard, when hurt and disappointment loom large.  But the choice is always ours to make.

What will you choose today?  Will you choose to love?

1 comment to Love Is A Choice

  • Rodney Piner

    The couple from bosnia should have seen that they had all along what they yearned for but because of pride could not forgive. Interesting they could talk to one another to instill love only if they did not know the other was their spouse. Harboring guilt and, or anger stops talk everytime. We need to talk with our spouses, not to them. We need to search in our spouse what we can do for them rather than what we can get, then communication is real and meaningful, and can overcome hurt. The one emotion God taught us will cause us to fall in any relationship, especially in marriage and with him is pride. Remove pride and our heart becomes genuine and then we seek to care for others rather than ourselves. That is what the second part of the Law was all about.

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